Feeling Ugly or Pretty: The Psychology of Self-Perception and Beauty

Self-perception and beauty standards can often lead to a range of emotions including doubt, insecurity, and confusion. This article explores the journey of an individual who feels ugly despite loved ones praising their beauty, and provides insights into overcoming these feelings.

Understanding the Struggle

Nicky, a human who has experienced the pain of feeling ugly despite receiving compliments, shares their thoughts with the world.---

Nicky:

Where is your pic? You're asking us to judge but how can we with nothing that we can see? I hope that you're a girl because no guy is ‘pretty’. Guys are all ugly.

Nothing changes. It does not matter how you look. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

Some folks just aren’t “photogenic”.

Im sure that you’re not ugly in pictures if you’re good looking in real life. It was just a bad photo taken by a terrible photographer.

Mortuary candy

Send me a pic and I will tell you my answer.

I have the same problem right here. I get often compliments on my appearance, get treated differently by people in a positive way, and even add up quite well to societal beauty standards. To me, my biggest trigger is the fact that I’m as photogenic as a piranha and that I also can’t take good pictures of myself; I’m only good at capturing landscapes or other people’s faces.

I also compulsively find a reason to believe that each compliment I get, whether it’s direct or indirect, is either insincere, solicited by me in some form, or that it’s just them being nice.

The way I’m personally starting to overcome this insecurity is by believing more to what societal beauty standards are, and more specifically, how I add up to them. I focus on features like whether I have traditionally attractive features and consider measures like the golden ratio or general proportions between features.

I look at myself in a simple flat mirror, which is, if we exclude the “true mirror,” the most accurate way you can see yourself dynamically, and possibly without any harsh or unnatural lighting.

Hope this was helpful :)

The Psychology Behind the Struggle

Feeling ugly or beautiful can be a complex and multifaceted experience, influenced by various psychological and social factors. Some people feel inadequate when they perceive themselves as unattractive, even with others complimenting them. This article will explore the psychology behind these feelings and offer solutions.

Understanding Beauty Standards

Beauty standards are societal norms that determine what is considered attractive or beautiful. These standards can vary based on cultural, social, and historical contexts. However, they often impose specific physical characteristics, such as a certain facial symmetry, skin tone, body type, or other attributes, that are deemed desirable.

Self-Esteem and Self-Perception

Self-esteem plays a crucial role in how we perceive ourselves. When individuals have low self-esteem, they may be more susceptible to negative thoughts and feelings about themselves, even when others compliment them. This can lead to a cycle of self-doubt and insecurity, where individuals question the validity of external compliments and find ways to dismiss them.

The Role of Photography and Self-Representation

Photography can be both a blessing and a curse for self-perception. On one hand, it allows individuals to capture and preserve their appearance. On the other hand, the limitations of photography, such as lighting, angle, and photographer skill, can distort reality, leading to perceived shortcomings. Additionally, individuals may find it challenging to self-photograph effectively, leading to negative self-perception.

Strategies for Overcoming Insecurity

1. Acceptance: Embrace the fact that beauty is subjective and varies from person to person. Understanding that others may see you differently can alleviate the pressure to meet specific beauty standards.

2. Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion and treat yourself as you would a close friend. Recognize that everyone, including those who are considered conventionally beautiful, has insecurities and imperfections.

3. Positive Affirmations: Use positive affirmations to counter negative thoughts. Remind yourself of your strengths and unique qualities that make you special.

4. Professional Help: Consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor who can provide support and guidance in addressing issues related to self-esteem and body image.

Conclusion

Feeling ugly or beautiful can be a deeply personal experience. It is influenced by societal beauty standards, self-esteem, and the way we represent ourselves through photography. By understanding these factors and implementing strategies for self-compassion and acceptance, individuals can overcome insecurities and embrace their unique beauty.