Navigating the Narcissist in the Workplace: Strategies for Success

Working with a narcissist can be a challenging and sometimes distressing experience. This type of personality is characterized by a high level of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy towards others. However, with the right strategies, it is possible to manage a relationship with a narcissist and maintain a productive working environment. Here are several key steps to handle narcissists effectively in a professional setting.

Getting Along with the Narcissist

Method 1: Strategies for Managing Narcissistic Coworkers

1. Express Gratitude
While a narcissist is likely to overstate their ideas and contributions, expressing genuine gratitude can still be beneficial. Acknowledge their efforts, but keep the conversation positive and constructive. For example, you might say:

Thank you for sharing your vision with me. I believe your idea has a lot of potential, and I would love to collaborate with you to improve it.

2. Leverage Their Egos
Narcissists thrive on recognition and admiration. Use this to your advantage by allowing them to take the lead on certain tasks, such as client pitches or presentations. For example, you can say:

Why don't you take the lead on presenting to the client? Your insights will be invaluable.

3. Avoid False Flattery
Be cautious when receiving compliments, as narcissists may manipulate you. Quickly and calmly deflect these comments to maintain your composure.

Thank you, but I appreciate your support in other ways too.

4. Document Your Ideas
Credit sharing is a common issue with narcissists. To protect yourself, document your ideas in writing or through emails. This way, you have clear proof of your contributions. For example, you might send a follow-up email after meetings to clarify what was discussed:

Hi [Colleague], I wanted to summarize the discussion from our meeting today. I believe...

5. Maintain Professional Boundaries
Narcissists are known for prying for personal information. Maintain a professional relationship by focusing on surface-level interactions. Encourage topics like sports, weather, or news events. For example, you might say:

That's an interesting project you're working on. Have you been following the latest developments in [industry-relevant topic]?

6. Deflect Attention-Seeking Behavior
Narcissists thrive on attention. Set boundaries by limiting their access to you and redirecting their focus. For example, you could suggest other meetings or say:

I understand you have a lot of energy, but let's move on to the next point.

Method 2: Resolving Conflict with a Narcissist

1. Stay Calm and Solution-Focused
Maintain your composure and focus on finding solutions rather than blaming or accusing. For example, you could say:

I feel frustrated when tasks are not completed as expected. Let's discuss potential solutions together.

2. Use the Sandwich Method
When providing feedback, sandwich the criticism between positive statements. For example:

First of all, I really appreciate your efforts on this project. However, I think we can improve the timeline by focusing on key milestones.

Method 3: Caring for Yourself Emotionally

3. Build a Support Network
Maintaining a strong support system is crucial. Spend time with friends, family, or colleagues who value you. For instance, you might plan an activity or outing to recharge.

4. Strengthen Self-Worth
Counteract negative feelings by focusing on your positive attributes. Create a list of your strengths and review it regularly. For example, you might say to yourself:

Remember how well you handled [specific task or challenge]. You're capable and effective!

5. Document Abuse
If a narcissist is verbally or emotionally abusive, document any instances in emails or notes. Collect eyewitness statements if possible. This documentation may be useful if the situation escalates.

6. Consider Your Job Security
If the situation becomes toxic and threatens your mental health, consider switching departments or leaving the job altogether. If you're committed to staying, consult a mental health professional for support and guidance.